Pancho's Theorems of AT Travel

So Pancho has developed a number of theorems concerning the layout of the trail, I suspect to take his mind off how much he hates hiking :).

Theorem 1:
When in doubt, the trail always goes up.

Theorem 2:
After crossing a road, the trail always goes up.

Theorem 3:
When approaching a shelter (or town or anything even remotely desirable), the trail always goes to shit.

Yesterday, we found this lovely expression of Theorem 1: